A Strange Likeness (WARNING: The images below may not be suitable for younger viewers.)

This is my scary face. I make it when I want to chase my kids around the house in order to get a good squeal out of them. My brother-in-law caught it on camera. Later, after watching the movie I am Legend, we all decided that my scary face eerily resembles this:


And I am not even wearing movie make-up or a mask...unlike this actor (who probably is quite good-looking under normal cirumstances.)

"Hello? Is this Taiwan?

Warning: If you plan on visiting the Fletcher home, be sure to keep your cell phone out of reach.

Ode to Summer!

Fare thee well, harsh winter and turbulent spring! Good riddance snowfall and ice storms and floods! We snub you and your destructive powers now as we run freely through the grass.


Bring on the sun...


...and, with it, the sunburns...


...and the late sunsets, which confuse my children into thinking that bedtime must be later than I say it is...


...Bring it all on! I can do anything now that the summer has arrived!

Lincoln in the Outfield

Here are some pictures of Lincoln at his baseball game. Watching him made me oddly reminiscent of 2nd grade PE when I began day-dreaming while I, too, was playing in the outfield. The next thing I knew, I followed everyone back to the line-up to bat, but when I looked around, I realized that the people around me were not on my team. I had spaced it for so long while in the outfield, that my team had returned to bat and then returned back to the outfield before I had even noticed.

Lincoln (dum de dum...) looking every where but at the game in session.




Finally his coach came over to stand next to him. "Lincoln," he said, in a very kind and patient voice. "Let's focus on the game here. You have a very important job to do for us." That seemed to help for about a minute or two.


Luckily for him, he's not a bad hitter.


As an added bonus, we overheard Isaac telling this little girl (to whom he was pitching a ball), "You're not very good--not as good as my brother Lincoln."

The Adventures of Middle Man

Here is a picture of Isaac's hand. Note the infection of the middle finger.

Today we decided to take Isaac to see the doctor, as the infection was getting worse. On the way, he showed it to everyone we met (the people in the elevator, the receptionist, the people in the waiting room) by holding up his hand with all fingers down but the one in the middle. They all gaped at this, shocked that a four-year-old would flip them off. I had to quickly jump in and say, "Oh, he has an infection in that finger. That's why he is seeing the doctor." Then they would all smile and say, "Oh, of course."

Here are pictures of all the places Isaac and his finger visited today at the hospital:

Persistence Pays Off...

...in the form of a water bottle. To win this coveted prize, Isaac had to do this:

The story: We went to story time at the library, and they were calling on kids to participate. The kids who were chosen were given water bottles. Isaac REALLY wanted one. Bad. But they wouldn't call on kids who raised their hands or made any noise. They were calling on the kids with the biggest smile. We were in the back of the room and Isaac was starting to mope because he didn't think he would be seen. So my sister Hayley had him climb on her lap, and he held this exact pose--even while they had stopped choosing people--until he was finally picked!

Here are more pictures of us at the library. I have a soft spot in my heart for this library. I was one of sixty people in the entire city who voted to raise the property tax $17 a year for its renovation. I went to vote at 9:30 PM, and was the only one there voting when the Channel 2 news cameras arrived. Without makeup! In my PAJAMAS! And I made the top story of the night. Good ol' Iowa news.


Laura and Lincoln at the new computer station.



Isaac doing puzzles.



View of Noelle's rear. In the tunnel at the new play area.

Introducing: Vanessa the Van

Okay, so the name is still up for grabs--any suggestions? But here she is--our new Chrysler Town and Country, a minivan in all her glory. (I am all about minivans these days, no matter what my inner-teenager might say.)

We finally had to bite the bullet and upgrade to a finer vehicle, much to Steve's immense pleasure. (He just LOVES stow-and-go seating. Can't get enough of it. We'd have it in our family room if he had his way.) I must admit, it feels nice to know that if I accidently leave my cell phone at home, I won't panic, the way I did whenever I risked my life in our old van, knowing that the probability of our being stranded someplace was rather high.

I also won't miss the comments from well-meaning friends who would follow us to church or work. Comments like: "Hey, did you know that your van was smoking?" or "Hey, did you know that you just dropped something back there that was flaming?" If I had a dollar for every one of those comments, I'd...well, I'd be able to probably go out to lunch with it at least. Which would be nice--a free lunch--now that we have acquired more debt.

Here are the kids, chomping on the bit to try out the new DVD player:


Steve, in new car paradise:

I am the Walrus...

This is a picture of Steve's beloved Walrus. Beloved because he got it at Sea World when he was, like, twelve or something. I took a picture of it because I don't think he has actually seen it since we've been married--though he loves it so--because what sort of grown man has time to locate paraphernalia from his youth and stare at it whenever the urge arises?

And the only reason I know it is so beloved is because I tried to throw it out this week. I tried fruitlessly--as I do every year--to throw it out with all the other broken or unwanted toys that must go (we need a space to walk at some point). And every year, when he glimpses the multiple garbage bags destined for the Salvation Army he say, "You didn't throw away my walrus, did you? I can't believe you would throw it away! You know how much it means to me!" And every year I growl and scowl, and go fetch it out of one of those doomed bags, placing it in my pile of "keepers", wondering when I will ever get up the courage to just lie to his face and say, "No, honey. I didn't throw it out. It is with all the other toys someplace," knowing FULL WELL that he will never, EVER have an opportunity to go in search of the walrus to verify whether or not I have in fact told the truth.

I do not understand this need he has to hang on to the walrus. I mean, it is not as if he can take it with him when he dies. I mean, it is not as if he ever thinks about it, except for once a year when he must, must, MUST be sure I have not thrown it out. I am completely the opposite. I would throw EVERYTHING out if it did not fall into one of the following three categories:

1. The Essentials. Without these items, we will die. (i.e. water, food, socks in the winter, etc.)
2. The Keepers of My Sanity. Meaning, these objects will keep the kids quiet for a good hour. (i.e. Legos--though they have hung on by just a MARGIN, what with all the times I have stepped on one of those infernal blocks in the middle of the night!)
3. The Time Savers. They make my job easier. (i.e. my hand blender, my flat iron, my microwave, my dish washer, my i-pod...you get the idea)

All else must go, in my opinion! Not Steve's, though, and so I have learned to compromise. A good thing. If only compromise didn't create so much clutter. Maybe someday I will find some use for the walrus and be glad I hung on to it, after all these years. Maybe it will have to make an appearance at our 50th wedding anniversary, in a slide show, perhaps, that will make everyone laugh.

If then, I guess it would be worth it. Maybe I should create a fourth category of things I am willing to keep: "Stuff that will someday make you laugh".

(PS...for all of those not in Iowa, this trivial post was written while our city is pretty much under siege by water. We are all camped out in our homes--at least those of us who have not been evacuated--while floods surge around us. We are all hoping and praying that the power will hold and that our food and water supply will be sufficient to weather the storm. I was going to blog about this, but could not get close enough to take pictures that would rival anything that could already be seen on the news...so pray for all of those whose homes have already been destroyed. As for us, do not worry. We live on a hill. The water will not touch us. We have a decent water and food storage that can at least get us through a week if our water is shut off, and the stores are closed.)

(PSS...I am the Walrus--for all of you twenty-somethings who have never really heard of the Beatles--is a song title. I never really liked the song much. Don't have any idea what it means...though there used to be much speculation. But I thought it was a fitting reference to go with the picture. Have a good day, and don't forget all of us in Iowa when you pray!)

If you are looking at this plane right now, it means that I have not died...

...but that the plane landed safely instead.

I really thought that I would die. I took this picture right before I boarded and the only thing I could think of was "deathtrap".

I do this every time I get on a plane. I pray repeatedly as we take off, white-knuckled, that my life will have been acceptable before my maker, and when I am not praying I quote to myself over and over again a statistic I think I once heard on Oprah: You are six times more likely to die while walking along the sidewalk for no apparent reason, than on an airplane.


This is a picture I took (with trembling hands) to distract myself. (I didn't have any kids to do it. I was flying solo this time.) I don't know what river this is below, but for all you geography buffs out there who would like to give it a whirl, it was about an hour out of Cedar Rapids, IA enroute to Las Vegas.

Oh. And I was flying to Vegas to see my brother Jordan get married. Super, SUPER happy and fun day. But he was really getting married in California in the LDS Redlands temple. So the next morning we all woke up to drive 3 hours together while my sister belted out all the songs from the soundtrack Wicked, much to my brother's annoyance--which was probably her intention.

Ahhh, family.


Here is a picture of the world's largest thermometer, for those of you who have never seen it before.


Me, my brother Ryan, my kooky sister Hayley and her husband right after the wedding.


The lovely view at Redlands from the temple grounds. (At the same time in Iowa, there were severe thunderstorms--glad I wasn't there.)



And the beautiful new couple--Jordan and Karinne.

Regarding Friends and Pedicures

Today I had my first-ever pedicure. These are MY feet pictured above in a water bath. This is the most you will ever see of them--pedicure or not. Unfortunately, some poor young beautician actually had to touch them. At one point when she was man-handling them in an effort to saw off all the crust on my heels, I did a double-take at my toes. "Is that...(eyes widened in horror)...hair? On my toes?!" Nervous laugh. "Wow. It's amazing what you discover under these fluorescent lights. Did I mention that I have FOUR kids?" She did not, however, eye me with sympathy and understanding as I had hoped, as though having four kids was ample reason to neglect ones feet in such a gross manner, but instead seemed to grip me all the harder, increasing her "saw" speed.

There was a reason I submitted myself to such humiliation. My good friend Heather Wood is moving to Germany next week, so we (me and my other friend Tiffany) decided to kidnap her to go get (gulp) pedicures. Weeks in advance, this conspiracy seemed like a good idea to us. We wanted to do something fun for Heather, but what you can't see in this picture is the tumultuous rain storm outside that nearly foiled our plans (though it did, in fact, foil our hair). Nor does it show the stressful morning Heather had with movers, all the more complicated by our abduction.

Anyway, despite the odd looks the three beauticians gave us while we gabbed indiscriminately, we had our one last Hurrah! Here is Heather holding up here finished foot.

So to all those women who reside in Germany, be on the look-out for one Heather Wood, who is shortly coming your way. I have composed a list of reasons why you should nab her as a friend as soon as the opportunity presents itself:
1. She will come to your house at midnight to babysit your kids with a smile on her face while you go to the hospital to have a baby. Then while you are recovering,she will continue to babysit for the next two subsequent days.
2. When you have the flu and cannot get out of bed, she will buy you groceries.
3. She will call on a regular basis and say, "I have a big favor to ask. Can your kids come over and play today?"
4. On your birthday, she will sneak into your house and clean it...even the light fixtures.
5. She bakes awesome itty-bitty flower cookies that steal the show at baby showers.
6. She takes pictures of all the kids at school/church/etc. functions for the parents who are too lazy to bring cameras themselves, and then distributes the developed pictures accordingly afterward.
7. She calls you on the phone just to make you laugh.
8. She calls you on the phone just to let you vent.
9. She makes you feel as though she will be your friend even if you have food stuck in your teeth. In fact, if you do discover something in your teeth while in the midst of a conversation, she will--on cue--pull something disgusting out of her own teeth, just so you don't feel stupid. (Okay, that has not actually ever happened, but it is completely and utterly something she WOULD do, if the occasion ever arose.)
10. She will teach you by example how to serve others, how to nurture children, how to laugh at yourself, how to cry with your friends, how to have a good time, how to work hard and never complain, how to sound intelligent, look beautiful, and still manage to remain "likeable."
11. She will make even a rainy-day pedicure (on the most stressful day imaginable--for her, that is) a pleasant memory. One to add to the many other innumerable ones!

Thanks, Heather, for everything! Good luck in Germany. We will all miss you!