Isaac's Field Trip, and also I am dissatisfied with many things...

...first and foremost, my Norton antivirus software.

I think Norton should rename their software "Norton Mostly Kinda Antivirus."

As Isaac says (being completely influenced by Star Wars), my computer is malfunctioning--to the point that it will only let me upload three pictures to this post, no matter how hard I try to load others. And I called Norton when my computer alerted me to a major virus take-over, and they told me I should take it to Best Buy and have the virus removed for a couple hundred dollars...to which I replied (in my head, because I am spineless), "Then why am I paying you seventy bucks a year to prevent a virus?"

Sigh. Moving on.

Pictures of Isaac's field trip. Three pictures. Whoop-de-doo.

Beef #2. We went to the Englert Theater in Iowa City to see the musical "Are You My Mother?" (which was my FAVORITE book when I was a kid.) We were all excited. The kids, too. They had all read the book beforehand. Then we get to the theater and the play begins, and guess what? It was crap. Let me tell you why it was crap.

They changed the whole story. From the opening scene the snort was the bad guy trying to destroy all the trees. (Remember in the book, he was the hero who returned the bird to his nest?) So half the story was along the lines of "Save the trees, snorts are bad." The other half consisted of the baby bird trying to find his mother, and in the process he picks up a hen, kitten, and dog posse. At the end they burst out in a song that exclaims, "A family doesn't need a mom and a dad! A family can be whatever you want it to be!"

I'm sorry, come again?

All the kids around me were saying things like, "This is boring." "This is not the same as the book." "This is stupid." (I think I was the one who said that last line.)

Alright, in the playwright's defense, I know part of what he/she was trying to do was send the message that kids should know that their family is legit, even if they don't have a mom or a dad, that they shouldn't feel as though they aren't as important as the kids who have both a mom and a dad. I get that. But I kinda feel like there's this giant movement called the "Families Don't Need Both a Mom AND a Dad" movement and part of its message is that the traditional mom/dad family is obsolete. Like it is in society's best interest to get rid of the old family model and come up with a new one. Which gets me all sorts of mad.

Seriously, I paid five bucks to see that play and I want my money back. Then I could put it toward that $200 I need to pay to get the virus removed from my computer.

PS...I know this post is angry and grumpy, but I wrote this on two hours of sleep after staying up all night with a pukey kid. I'm sure I'll read this later and regret the tone.

Spring Break: A Recap.

Happy Spring!

A friend of ours was driving Laura home from an activity a couple of weeks ago, and she asked Laura if we had any fun plans for Spring Break. Laura cheerfully told her, "Yes! I am going to get my hair cut!"

And there you have it, my friends. The highlight of our Spring Break. Laura's haircut.

The "before" picture: And the "after" picture:
Thrilling, I know.

I also made tons of that easy bread. Here's another variation my family liked. It's a spinoff of the bread at Macaroni Grill. I added to the original recipe 1 Tbsp butter, 1 Tbsp sugar, and 1 tsp rosemary. It was tasty. Actually, I didn't taste it, but I was told by the little people around here that it was.

Okay, so we did one actual fun thing that week. Our neighbors (a.k.a. The People Who Try to Teach Me How to Be a Normal Mom) put the idea into my head to take the kids to this place. When we first moved to Iowa City, it was called the Monkey House. Then it changed ownership and was called Tjark's Jungle. Now it is called the Partee Zone. I really hate when people change things like that. It confuses me.

Alright, here are some pictures.

Enough of that superfluous, extravagant fun. Now back to Fun, Fletcher style:

Noelle drawing a princess. I think she drew about ten princesses each day of Spring Break.

Oh, oops, it's upside down. But you get the picture. Check out the crown, and I just love the curly hair.
And, I don't know about you, but there is no activity quite as thrilling for me as popping a good zit. Lincoln had his first one this week, and let me tell you, this picture does not do it justice.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm posting this nothingness. But there you have it: Our Spring Break in a nutshell.

A way-too-thorough documentation of making the easiest (yeast) bread in the world.

In fact, I think all of these pictures will make it seem as though it took more time to make than it actually did. Seriously, the most difficult part of all (for me) was slicing it up because I don't have a good, sharp serrated knife. Slicing it up took twice as long as any of the other steps. And when I had finished slicing, I looked at those chunks and thought, "Eh. It doesn't look that great." But then my whole family went nuts. My six-year-old was eating the crust like it was candy. Crust. He never, never, never eats crust. So I decided to make this again today and document it. Hayley, you must try this. Today. (Let me know how it goes.)

Okay, I do this first step at night before I go to bed because it has to sit for 12-18 hours. Mix:
1 1/2 cup medium warm water (120 degrees)
1/4 tsp yeast
2 tsp salt in a bowl. Stir a bit.
Stir in 3 cups flour. Last time I used all purpose flour. This time I used 2 cups all purpose and 1 cup whole wheat.
It takes about a minute or two to get it to look like this:
Spray some Saran wrap with non-stick spray, cover, and let sit on your counter for 12-18 hours.
In the morning (early afternoon or whenever) it will look like this:
Dump it out onto a floured surface. It will look like this and will sort of work it's way out of the bowl with a little help from your fingers. Just takes a sec.
Sprinkle flour on top.
Roll it out to a kinda circle-like shape. I thought this step would be more difficult. I thought it would be super sticky and hard to work with, but with some flour (not even all that much) it rolled out quite nicely and had a nice elastic consistency.
Fold in the edges so it forms a smaller circle.
Plop it upside down on a floured plate and cover with more non-stick sprayed Saran wrap (loosely). Let it sit for another 1-2 hours on your counter.
After a couple of hours, it looks like this:
Preheat a roast-type dish and oven-safe lid in your oven to 450 degrees (I'm sure you were all curious what that looks like):
When the oven has finished preheating, carefully take out the dish and plop the dough upside down into the hot dish. (No need for non-stick spray). Cover with the lid and bake at 450 for 27-30 minutes. Then take of the lid and bake for 7-10 minutes more.
Here's your final product: European artisan bread, crusty on the outside and soft on the inside.
By the way, the general consensus was that the wheat bread tasted better than the all-white bread.

Talent show--without videos of the performances, dang it.

I tried. I tried to load those videos, but they wouldn't be loaded. So here are the only pictures I took.

Lincoln, reviewing his music before he played. He did a nice job...only you'll have to take my word for it.

Laura did a stand-up comedy routine wih her friend Kaylee. I videotaped half of it, but...well, you know. Anyway, they were A.W.E.S.O.M.E. A sample of their routine:

Laura: Hey Kaylee, why did BYU have a bad football season this year?

Kaylee: I don't know. Why?

Laura: Because everytime they gained ten yards, they had to give one back for tithing.

A display table was set out for those who wanted to bring something to display. Lincoln and his friends Dallin and Christian brought one of their lego creations. It was the lone object on the table . Yup. That's it.

March Madness is in the air. (It's making my asthma worse.)

Hoho, just kidding.

I loooove filling out my bracket. Steve even did the dishes tonight, and when I told him he didn't need to do them, that I could wash them, he said, "I want to wash them. Now go fill out your bracket. It's on the table." If Steve is washing the dishes, then he means business.

This year we celebrated the "Filling out of the Brackets" with chocolate cake.

Even Noelle had to fill one out. Steve accomplishes this by asking Noelle which of the two teams she thinks will win, and she usually picks one and then he writes it down. At first she wasn't cooperating.

He said, "Noelle, who's going to win: Kansas or Lehigh?"

She said, "Chocolate."

He repeated, "Noelle: Kansas or Lehigh?"

"Umm.......Chocolate."

So he wrote it down.

Finally, she caught on. Steve was able to manipulate her choice for all of the teams, but two. In the end she was determined to get those two teams to the finals: Temple and Butler.

Temple because, well, I guess she's more influenced by that picture of the temple in our upstairs hallway than I realized. And Butler...because that is the last name of her primary teacher.

My pat-on-the-back post.

I did it! I finished reading Researching Your Colonial New England Ancestors today...WAY ahead of schedule, as I had predicted I would finish around Laura's graduation. And, let me tell you, it is full of useful stuff.

After I had my "I'm Stupid" meltdown a month ago, Steve told me that once he finished his residency in June, that it would be "My Time". My time to do whatever I need to do to stop feeling stupid. Specifically, to finish my degree. Which, after careful research, seemed most likely to be accomplished with four kids and a husband (child) to care for if I finished my degree online through the BYU independent study program, which happens to have a family history emphasis. I've decided to jump in right away and start this summer.

Which decision at first made me nervous.

Because I still was having a difficult time reading more than three pages at a time. (I sorta have a fiction reading preference.)

But I DO really want to get this degree thing. And in my more ambitious moments, I think I may even want to go on someday to get a masters in Library Science (they have a great program at the U or I).

So I decided I needed to build up my "textbook studying" endurance if I'm ever going to have a shot at this. I set the following goal: To come home straight from dropping the kids off at school, and study for 1-2 hours a day. Period.

This usually meant I would have to study while still in my pajamas.

(Here I am in my pajamas and cool knitted slippers:)

But that's okay. I would get ready after I studied. I would clean and cook after I studied. I would go grocery shopping and run errands after I studied. Follow the pattern?

The first week I was still having a difficult time keeping my eyelids open after a few pages. But then something miraculous happened...as the days passed, I discovered that the time flew and I was actually sad to close the book after two hours. I found myself checking things online. I found myself trying to figure out a way to type out a comprehensive outline detailing step-by-step the ways I would utilize the skills in the book.

I'm beginning to think I could actually get used to this "student" thing. I'm beginning to think I'm setting up a pattern for the next few years, and that if I just schedule a few hours to study every (possible) morning, I might actually be able to get some sort of degree.

I'm ridiculously excited...more than my "Times" font can express. Although this may bore everyone else (sorry, Mom, and probably everyone else), here are three things (though I could probably list hundreds) I found interesting in this book:

Random fact: Did you know that prior to the year 1752, March was the first month of the year? I did not know this! (Raise your hand if you did. I can't see you anyway, so I won't feel stupid by comparison.)

England and, consequently, the American colonies were still going by the Julian calendar set up by Julius Caesar, while the rest of the world had gotten on board with the Gregorian calendar (in which January is the first month) in the 1500-1600's. The Gregorian calendar was instituted in the first place because the seasons began to be off a little. The colonies finally decided to change to the Gregorian calendar in 1752, which made 1751 the shortest year in American history because it began in March and ended in December.

Also in 1752, the colonies decided to cut out two weeks in September. Thus one day it was Sept 2, 1752, and the next day it was Sept 14, 1752. Everyone adjusted their birthdays accordingly. George Washington was born on Feb 11, but by the end of his life he was celebrating his birthday on Feb 22. That is why some vital records from this time period might list two birthdays and they would both still be correct. I don't know why, but I found this completely interesting.

Something funny. There are a lot of references made in this book. Here is the title of a book written in 1874:

The Original Lists of Persons of Quality, 1600-1700: Emigrants; Religious Exiles; Political Rebels; Serving Men Sold for a Term of Years; Apprentices; Children Stolen; Maidens Pressed; and Others Who Went from Great Britain to the American Plantations, 1600-1700, with Their Ages, the Localities Where They Formerly Lived.

Is that not the longest title to a book you've ever seen? I dare them to make a movie with a title that long.

Okay, last thing. One of the most important skills one can have if one is going to be researching during the Colonial Period is the ability to read the handwriting, which changed and evolved from one generation to the next. I find this most fascinating. For example, what letter would you say this is?

It is actually a capitalized "F". It is made up of two lowercase "f"s. Anyway, I've become a nerd on the Internet playing matching games with colonial alphabets. It's a little embarrassing.

In fact, I was hoping my next book to study would be this one:

And then I found out that the author, Kip Sperry, actually teaches this subject at BYU and is the online instructor for one of the courses I would have to take. Maybe I will take this class first! I am so excited. (Oh, this post is so boring for all of you, I'm thinking.)

So, I received this online catalog in the mail, which further thrilled me, except...

...It's full of cheesy testimonials like this, which made me laugh out loud.
Because I was like, "How dramatic! All these people making emotional claims that this online course changed their lives for the better." But then I realized I will probably feel the same way when I get my degree. Especially as I already make such passionate claims about much less significant things in my life, like--say--getting my Ipod.

Noelle this week.

Oh my goodness, this is my new favorite picture of her. I just want to kiss her little cheekies.I couldn't resist putting some of these pictures on the blog because somehow I was able to capture her while her hair was intact. Usually her hair is going in all directions, with a half-ripped out elastic lost somewhere in the mess.

Here is Noelle with her favorite thing in the world this week:

With her second favorite thing...

...which is obviously not precious enough to keep her from chewing it. And, well, ripping the dress. And I think the state of the hair speaks volumes (while being itself "voluminous").

This is what she was doing every day this week at exactly 3:00 PM (the time when I should be picking up the kids from school). Pooping. And calling for me to change her diaper. Yes, that's what I said...diaper. Because apparently the exhaustive potty-training I did in October was a really early April Fool's joke.

But hey, look. Another photo with hair intact. And smiling at the same time. What are the odds?

Practicing for the talent show this Saturday.

He has five days left to get it ready. Can he do it? Feel free to place bets in the "comments" section.