Puzzling Puzzles

So this week I entered the room while Lincoln was attempting to do his spelling homework, and my sister Hayley (who is staying with us this summer with her new little family) said, "I can't believe how difficult his homework is!"

To which I cockily replied, "He never seems to have a problem with it." I puffed myself up in motherly pride, and what I was really thinking was, "My boy's smarter than a 23 year-old."

Lincoln piped up. "This time I do."

"Yeah, check it out," said Hayley's husband Greg (who is in law school and whose spelling skills should far exceed that of a second grader).

Intrigued now, I bent over his paper and took a gander. He was working on a crossword puzzle

"Look at this clue," said Hayley. "It reads: 'A measure of heat loss from skin due to increased wind speed.' I mean, do you even know what that is?"

I look at his spelling list to see which word clearly applies. The words are as follows: twice, spy, child, July, kind, wild, fight, climb, nightmare, behind, wind, and siren.

What the hecky-becky?

Greg spoke up. "And what about this clue. It says: 'Harm against a young child'. The only thing that fits is the word 'child'. Why would they decide that the best definition for the word 'child' would be 'harm against a young child'?"

"Yeah," said Hayley. "Why would they suggest abuse?"

Lincoln snickered.

"I thought you said that the Iowa public school system was the best in the country," Hayley accused.

I pulled a face. So much for my most persuasive argument in attempting to lure family members to move close by. I realize at once that all my efforts had been undermined by this one sad sheet of homework, and there was nothing I could say to redeem it. Surrendering, I shrugged and admitted, "Yeah. This is crap."

So we all made a feeble attempt to help Lincoln fill in the blanks to his teacher's satisfaction. And after the job was finished I went to bed wondering why a tree had to die so that Lincoln could sit around, laughing at a bunch of adults seated around a table scratching their heads. (And that is saying something because I don't even remotely resemble a tree-hugger...though (small disclaimer)I do recycle.)

Luckily, this morning I found him finishing the rest of his homework all by himself. This time it was a word search, and it was completely age-appropriate and non-distressing. So I took the above picture and decided to call the other night a fluke. Chapter closed.