If you have not read the Twilight series and/or are offended by it, feel free to stop reading now.
If, however, you have found yourself wasting days incapable of setting them down, and if you, as a result, went out and purchased The Host, and could not stop reading except for that brief--ever so brief--visit to the bathroom and just enough time to zap some EasyMac for the kids, then read on...
First, I should preface by stating that I have mixed feelings for these books. Let's put it this way: NO teenage daughter of mine will ever grow up thinking it is perfectly acceptable for her hot boyfriend to sneak into her bedroom window at night, while her father lays unsuspecting in the room next door. Not to mention that fact that I still can't fathom their extreme popularity. I stand by my claim that they are mindless, purposeless floof. A sure waste of time. Someday I am certain I will regret having spent so many hours devouring them.
That said, I have come up with the perfect solution to Book 4--Breaking Dawn. It is thus: I decided that I don't want Bella to become a vampire. I want Edward to find a way to NOT be a vampire--to return to humanity. The solution: Dr. Cullen could perform a surgery in which he takes Edward's essence out of his body and transplants it into a different host!
The obvious choice for a new host? Jacob, of course! Then Bella could have the best of both worlds! Brilliant...
Monday, July 14, 2008
I've got it! The Perfect Solution!
Posted by Fletch at 5:19 PM
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9 comments:
Garbledy gook
-Greg
I liked the first book, but I haven't read any of the others. My students LOVE them, though. Yeah, they're floof, but they're decently written floof.
So, is the host really as good of floof as the others? I might just have to get it shipped to me. I miss you guys so much and my kids miss your kids so, so much. I don't think I'll ever find the kind of perfect kid-match-up again between your family and ours. So when should I pencil your first visit in?
tell hayley and greg I want an invite to their blog--I'm a weirdo, huh! email me at hezannwood@yahoo.com
I got nothin but shame to send your way! How could you read this?!? I tried, but the writing was SO bad!
I made it to page 7 and hated it. I tried again to page 35 and hated it, by page 146 I through the book across the room never to be picked up again!
What is great about Bella? Nothing!!! She is the most boring character I have ever encountered!
But I am willing to be humble, do they get better? Should I give it another try?
I have company so can't respond to your email until later, but I LOVED your email!
Thanks!!
Oh...well...D'Arcy, what can I say? Except I must just be hard up for entertainment. I think the writing is annoying myself. The dialogue is unnatural. The vampire plot...don't get me started. That's the whole reason I hung on through all the ridiculously overdramatic make-out scenes, and--let me tell you--there IS no real vampire plot. The suspense is third rate. The entire book is about the unrealistic, glorified (not to mention--gory) romance!
But, as I said...hard up for entertainment. I really, REALLY for the life of me cannot understand why books like these keep getting so much praise. There are a whole slew of them, both children's literature and young adult (did you ever read Inkheart?--how did THAT one ever get turned into a movie? I found myself snoring even while I was awake!) But whatever.
Well, I don't think I made it to the romance part. Edward was just super rude. Then he saved her life from the truck. Then he saved her life from those thugs in the alley (so trite!) and then that's as far as I had gotten.
But hey, I could always use some good romance. Do you think I should give it another try?
Also, have you read those books that are told from Mr. Darcy's point of view? It's like all the things that happen from Pride and Prejudice and his thoughts aobut it. They are pretty romantic and pretty quick to read to. I think you would like them.
The first one is called:
An Assembly such as this.
You know, if you are hard up for entertainment and whatnot! :)
Again, I LOVED your comment on my blog. You continue to surprise me Ms. Jenn. I think tomorrow I will actually have time to write you a b ig long email!
Oh my gosh, D'Arce! You didn't KNOW it was a romance? Therein lies the hook, I tell you. Beware, though, it is pretty extreme. Gory, is the best description.
I actually thought the second book was better than the first, and the third was the best of all. Still, I have to say the worst part of all about them was the vampire storyline. I had such high hopes for a really good scary story and it really let me down big time.
Hi Jen! Okay, so I amend my "decently written" to "very floofy but at least they get kids to read."
I don't have your e-mail address, so here's my blog link so I can get in touch with you SOMEHOW . . .
http://bensonrandomness.blogspot.com
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