Vendetta!!!

See this little guy? I HATE this little guy! And I hate all of his little buddies! They are my new-found enemies and I must destroy them!!!
OK, so I know it sounds like I have lost it, and maybe I have. But for all of you out there who have not yet heard the news...the Fletcher family has LICE!

Is that not sufficient reason for me to lose my mind? (If you have answered a resounding "NO!", or even a timid, doubting "no...i don't think so...", then you are free to exit this blog immediately. If, however, you feel compassion and have thought, "I most certainly would not be holding up as well as Jenn under the circumstances, with four kids and three house guests," then feel free to read on.)

Okay, I could go on and on and on about the ridiculously exhausting cleaning and purging routine that has been thrust upon us this week, but I will only say this...

I have indeed lost it. My husband has said on more than one occasion, "I don't think you need to spray that again. Don't you think that's a bit overkill?"

My response? Yes! It is a bit overkill! And I mean to overkill and overkill again and again until I rid this household of those nasty little critters! Overkill is my only sanity! It is my only weapon! And I don't even think my pacifist, spider-saving brother-in-law who lives in the basement would begrudge me my murderous revenge.

(PS...I wanted to take pictures, documenting our pain--it looks like we are moving, what with our rooms bare with nothing in them but lone, stripped mattresses, and the kids have all had their hair shorn, well, not the girls, they've just had their hair cut short--but I can't find the camera. It's probably bagged with the rest of our belongings, where it will remain for the next two weeks. I really have lost it, haven't I?)

Here ya go, D'Arce

My old college roommate, D'Arcy (the one with an MA from NYU who travels the world, is a free-lance writer, and paints on the side...in other words, the interesting one in whom I live vicariously...) just published a post on fashion, and how much she loves it as an artform. So I thought I might show her what I was wearing while reading her blog. (Note: I don't usually look quite so downcast. That was for dramatic effect.)

Notice the hole in my six-year old capris for which I have not yet been able to find a decent, cheap replacement:

And the hole in my $3.oo t-shirt from American Eagle (a steal!...though obviously not such a durable one...)

Prediction

I predict that someday in Noelle's future, she will in desperation purchase a CHI flat iron.

Laura's Sweet Moves

Laura pulled out all the stops tonight, dancing up a storm. At least, she said it was dancing. Here are a few pictures that would prove otherwise:


After witnessing this (and after she had gone to bed) Steve googled that episode from Seinfeld when Elaine leads the dance at the wedding, which I thought was not that bad--not after watching my own offspring. Infact I began to hope that Laura might be lucky enough to attain Elaine-esque quality dancing by the time she reaches adolescence.

Who'd a thunk it?

After I had my first daughter--a tiny, blond-haired, blue-eyed, fragile-looking, high-pitched sing-song creature--I just assumed that she would be interested in dolls.

She wasn't. Her thing? Bugs. And dirt. And frightening the neighbor boys (the older, bigger ones) while chasing them around the neighborhood carrying creepy-looking insects in her grubby little hands. (By the way, the day we witnessed this will go down forever as one of my favorite memories. I love this about Laura.)

When I found out child #4 was going to be a girl, I thought it might be wise to hold off all expectations until we had met her and gotten to know her better. And guess what? She LOVES dolls! I still can't wrap my brain around it...

Here's what Noelle did ALL day--didn't even want to stop to eat:

While the cat's away...

So I had to go out of town for three days. I was going to leave my kids behind with Aunt Hayley and Uncle Greg. Hayley told the kids that while Mom would be gone, there would be "new" rules in place. The new rules?

Rule #1 No jobs
Rule #2 No healthy food
Rule #3 Video games--all day, every day

I held my tongue. Free babysitting is hard to come by.

On the morning I had to leave, while I was getting ready in the bathroom, I overheard Lincoln say to Laura, "Only four hours and fifty minutes till she leaves!"

Ah...man. It is good to be appreciated. (That's sarcasm, folks.)

Notice the glazed-over eyes:

I've got it! The Perfect Solution!

If you have not read the Twilight series and/or are offended by it, feel free to stop reading now.

If, however, you have found yourself wasting days incapable of setting them down, and if you, as a result, went out and purchased The Host, and could not stop reading except for that brief--ever so brief--visit to the bathroom and just enough time to zap some EasyMac for the kids, then read on...

First, I should preface by stating that I have mixed feelings for these books. Let's put it this way: NO teenage daughter of mine will ever grow up thinking it is perfectly acceptable for her hot boyfriend to sneak into her bedroom window at night, while her father lays unsuspecting in the room next door. Not to mention that fact that I still can't fathom their extreme popularity. I stand by my claim that they are mindless, purposeless floof. A sure waste of time. Someday I am certain I will regret having spent so many hours devouring them.

That said, I have come up with the perfect solution to Book 4--Breaking Dawn. It is thus: I decided that I don't want Bella to become a vampire. I want Edward to find a way to NOT be a vampire--to return to humanity. The solution: Dr. Cullen could perform a surgery in which he takes Edward's essence out of his body and transplants it into a different host!

The obvious choice for a new host? Jacob, of course! Then Bella could have the best of both worlds! Brilliant...